3 Stages of a Matured Person

 

There are many ways to measure maturity. We are going to discuss a pattern that I have noticed that an average person goes through in their career that shows their personal maturity level. Here are the 3 stages of a matured person.

 

Stage 1: Personally Affected By Others

 

In stage 1 of personal maturity, there is a lot of personal feelings involved. Stage 1 is full of the desire to fit in, to be accepted, to be liked, to be part of the group. Stage 1 tends to worry a lot about how other’s view them and what they think. Someone in stage 1 is at risk for peer pressure, and they often fake who they are because they want to fit in. Stage one is pack mentality.

Stage 1 is easy to see with younger people. For instance, schools are filled with people in stage 1. However, the truth is that many older people are still in stage 1. These stages are not restricted by age, rather personal development of maturity.

Stage 1 is pretty easy to spot in the work place. These people are the overly sociable employees that always hang out with friends outside of work. These employees could be low producers at work, because their socialization prevents them from excelling. Everyone they meet is a potential friend. You may notice that they begin talking differently, dressing differently, or changing their hobbies just to fit in. These people quickly find themselves in cliques and groups where they feel like they belong. At work, they often rely on help from other people.

 

Stage 2: Dehumanize

 

Many people will progress in maturity and end up dehumanizing people, specifically certain groups of people. These people will most likely view their co-workers as friends, but a customer is simply a number. Stage 2 is full of being unemotional, unsympathetic, callous and uncaring attitudes.

Stage 2 does not mean that someone is a bad employee. It just means that if they are good employees, it’s because they have an inner drive to be good employees. However, without this inner drive to be good at their job, stage 2 could appear in a very negative way. Stage 2 could be laziness or even aggression. Some jobs are easier to do in stage 2. For example, many first responders are in stage 2 because it desensitizes them from the stress.

Someone in stage 2 can be identified at work pretty easily by their reliance on rules and structure. They are usually unphased by bad news or sad stories. These people may be nice, but they may seem distant. They are uninterested in being friends. They are there to do a job, and you’re the one receiving the job.

 

Stage 3: Aware of humanity

 

It should be no surprise that stage 3 is the most difficult stage to reach, and it usually takes awhile to get there. Stage 1 and stage 2 are where most people in society are. However, stage 3 is the where matured people are. Stage 3 is full of understanding. A matured person in stage 3 will understand that they have a job to do, but they will also understand that the people they are working with are human beings with real struggles and real pain. A matured person in stage 3 is not viewing people as friends. Rather, they see people as souls. They understand that although they have a job to do, that person has emotions, and a spirit just like other people.

In the workforce, stage 3 is not very common to see. This is usually someone that has made it in a position of authority and actually deserves to have the authority. They will do their job just as excellent as stage 2, but they will do it in a way that helps humanity. They don’t want to be friends, but they want goodwill for all life. A stage 3 person doesn’t get emotionally attached like someone in stage 1, but they still hope for the best for that person.

 

Military Movie Example

 

I don’t remember which movie it was, but I remember watching a military movie a few years back and it showed a perfect example of the 3 stages. My memory is not perfect, but the plot was along these lines. The military was deployed to fight terrorism. When they were deployed a veteran sniper saw a group of younger guys and decided to join them. His reason was that these younger soldiers were not even soldiers 5 months earlier.

They showed a scene where the group was ambushed. They showed a scene where the veteran sniper was watching a man approach a gun, and the veteran kept saying “Don’t do it. Don’t make me do it. I don’t want to do it.” then he did it. After the fight, they showed all the younger soldiers laughing and cheering each other on for killing the enemy. In this scenario, the veteran sniper showed traits of being in stage 3. He cared about the safety of the younger soldiers, and he saw the humanity in his enemy. The younger soldiers were stuck in stage 2.

 

There’s Always Exceptions

 

It is very easy and tempting to view each stage as a block. It’s convenient to think that everyone must fit nicely inside of one of these categories, however this is not true. This growth is linear. It’s extremely possible for someone to be in 2 categories at once. Someone in stage 1 that cares too much about making friends with their co-workers could dehumanize their customers or vice versa. It’s very easy for someone in stage 3 to see humanity in some ways but also dehumanize in other ways. This is just a generalized progression that many people make as they become a more matured person.

 

Resources

A Journey of 3 Phases – An article by a member of the Kingdom.

 

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