Using Stoicism to Overcome Misfortune

 

Using stoicism to overcome misfortune may seem like a strange idea, but this idea has been used throughout the ages. In fact, when bad things happen to us, leaning in on our inner stoic may be the best option we have to continue life through hardship while remaining personally powerful. Bad things will happen in life. I wish it was different, but it’s part of life. Sometimes small things happen that knock us off balance, and sometimes big things happen that can have a life changing impact. Using two very simple ideas taken from stoicism is a phenomenal place to seek shelter in these times.

 

Five Stages of Grief

 

Before we jump into the stoic beliefs that will help us through difficult times, let’s discuss a psychological pattern that we see in human behavior. When something bad happens to us, psychologists agree that we go through five stages of grief. If the bad thing that happens is small, we will get through this process fairly quickly and easily. If the bad thing is big, this process will take more time. This process is very natural and there is absolutely no shame in feeling any of these feelings.

 

Denial – Refusing to believe it happened, may also show up as confusion. Sometimes it takes time for the information to be understood.

Anger – Anger which can be directed anywhere caused by what happened.

Bargaining – Trying to negotiate with others, themselves, or even God to try to reverse what happened.

Depression – Deep regret, sadness, or sorrow about what happened.

Acceptance – Forgiveness, acceptance, and recognition that it is done. This is usually followed by a willingness to move forward.

 

Although this order is fairly typical for something responding to a bad situation. Sometimes people will skip a stage; sometimes people will stay stuck at a stage for a long time. Each individual is unique and will experience their stages of grief in different ways.

Just to clarify, these stages are natural. I am not saying that you should avoid feeling any of these stages. Being able to work through these feelings is part of the recovery process. If you are going through something very difficult in life, you may want to speak with a professional about helping you through this process.

 

The Role of Stoicism in overcoming Misfortune

 

If you would like a deep review of stoicism, check out our Introduction into Stoicism.

There are two very useful tactics taught in stoicism that directly affect how effectively we can overcome misfortune. If you can start implementing these, you’ll quickly regain personal power over your life when it seems that everything is out of control. Let’s get into it.

 

Focus only on what you can control.

 

This is the first part of stoicism that will help you overcome misfortune. Focus only on what you can control. By doing this, you stop worrying about all of the things that are out of your control and you realize that you control more than you realize. This gives you power. It may be power that many people do not want, but it is power. When things become difficult, it is easy to get trapped in various emotions. It’s easy to wish that things were easier. Many people in these situations can become overwhelmed. If you focus on what is in your control, you simplify the process. By focusing on what you can control, you simplify life.

Accept anything out of your control as fate.

 

In stoicism, fate is the concept of things that happen that are out of our control. The only way to handle fate is by accepting it. Fate is where life happens. Sometimes fate brings good things and sometimes it brings bad things. Either way, we can only accept it.

 

Bringing both of these together.

 

By bringing both of these stoic ideas together, focusing on what is in our control and accepting what we cannot control, we have a simple formula for helping us move through the stages of grief. By combining these, we can see that the last stage of grief, acceptance, is the ultimate goal to reach. These principles in stoicism can help us reach our ultimate goal.

 

James Stockdale

 

James Stockdale was a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War and he accredited Stoicism with his incredible resilience. He was not only able to overcome isolation and torture through stoicism, but he made a huge impact on other prisoners around him. James Stockdale emphasized the importance of accepting the reality of the situation, recognizing what was within his control, and focusing on his own moral character. He believed that these teachings gave him resilience, understanding, and strength. Does this sound familiar? He was focused on what he could control, and he accepted what he could not control.

If you would like to learn more about James Stockdale, you may enjoy reading an article from him: Stockdale on Stoicism II: Master of My Fate.

 

Seneca

 

Seneca, one of the great stoic philosophers of all time, is impressive when it comes to applying the principles that we discussed above. The philosopher Seneca, among other things, is known for his Stoic death. Now, let me also emphasize that over the years the story may have been changed slightly, exaggerated, or lied about. However, we also do not have evidence that any of this has actually happened either. I also want to emphasize that being stoic does not mean that you need to accept bad things that you have control over. You should do everything in your power to control what is within your control. Stoicism is about accepting that fate is outside of your control. Anyways, let’s continue the story.

Nero accused Seneca of conspiring against Nero. Nero sentenced Seneca to death by having Seneca take his own life. It is said that the day of his execution, Seneca was calm, wrote some letters, spoke to some about philosophy as he always did, and even casually said goodbye to his loved ones. The story goes that he did not show any outward distress or fear throughout this event. He accepted his execution as fate which was out of his control and he died a stoic death. Seneca’s wife also chose to die with him.

The point of this story is that the world came down on Seneca and he lost his own life. He remained in control of his actions and thoughts and came to accept what was out of his control. The philosopher Seneca was probably a very happy and personally powerful person.

 

Concluding how to Overcome Misfortune with Stoicism

 

Nobody wants bad things to happen. I hope you live a blessed and full life. However, life is often out of our control. We can adopt some of the ideas of the stoic philosophy to help us overcome misfortune. 1) We can be singularly focused on what is in our control. 2) We can learn to accept what happens that is out of our control. With these two principles, we will develop personal power that gives us control over our perspective, control over our emotions, control over our actions, and the ability to move forward after something bad happens. This is how you overcome misfortune.

 

Resources

 

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